It’s the most wonderful time of the year. A time when football fans everywhere can look forward to Christmas presents bought for them by friends and family who know how dearly they love their club.
Some gifts are OK, most are bad, and many are truly awful. We’ve been through every top-flight club’s online shop to find the worst offenders.
Last year, West Brom took the crown with £4.49 clothes pegs.
This year, to save you from tears and add a bit of suspense, we’ve ranked the gifts from least worst to most terrible.
Remember, folks, it’s the thought that counts.
Premier League’s worst Christmas Gifts 2016
20: Watford snowman plush toy – £10
This slightly sinister snowman is about as bad as it gets. Sure to melt the hearts / terrify the life out of any young Hornets fan.
19: Leicester City bleacher creature – £18
Maybe he’s been hit by one of Jamie Vardy’s erratic shots that went into row Z of the “bleachers”.
18: West Ham United junior multi Christmas sweatshirt – £22
We’re assuming the chaotic pattern is inspired by is designed by the same team responsible for running things at the new stadium.
17: Swansea City ladies’ perfume – £15
Now that special City fan in your life can smell their best with this luxury eau de toilette. (Product not tested on Swans).
16: Southampton advent calendar – £4
Of course, it’ll be out of date by the time you hand it over, but he or she will be able to scoff all the chocolates or, in keeping with the spirit of the club, sell it for an inflated price before producing an even better advent calendar from the academy.
15: Manchester City Champions League trolley coin keyring – £4
This will come in very useful if you’re ever in a rush at Aldi and you don’t have a spare quid for the trolley.
It’s got the Champions League branding on, so you might have to throw it away after the round of 16.
14: Manchester United Christmas jumper – £30
The best/worst we could find is this pretty harmless Christmas jumper.
13: Middlesbrough gents’ luxury gift set – £15
Apparently Jordan Rhodes splashes some of this on after every match, once he’s had a shower that he barley needs as he’s spent most of the afternoon sitting down.
12: Burnley rubber duck – £6
They do, however, sell this fetching bath-time buddy, which you’d be quackers not to consider. (Not even sorry).
11: Everton Christmas tree – £14
10: Crystal Palace Crystals official 2017 calendar – £8.99
This calendar lets fans enjoy the Eagles’ troupe of cheerleaders from the comfort of your their own home. Not sure this is a smart move by the club, as the Crystals are most fans’ main reason for going to Selhurst Park.
The calendar takes in all of 2017, allowing supporters to note next season’s Championship fixtures.
9: Tottenham Hotspur reindeer socks – £8
Perfect for those Thursday night Europa League games, then.
8: Chelsea oven gloves – £10
Never mind going to the Bridge over Christmas, love. Get the roast on.
7: Stoke City Lichfield ladies’ scarf – £15
If you saw Delilah wearing this, you’d have to ask why, why, why?
6: Arsenal lanyard – £3
Perfect, apparently, for Arsenal fans to show off whatever they need to display around their neck. A “Wenger Out” banner at the end of a trophyless season, perhaps?
5: Hull City elf Christmas jumper – £21.99
But, surely, if they rocked up on Boxing Day wearing this, all would be forgiven?
4: Bournemouth anti-slip dashboard pad – £3.50
It won’t, however, prevent Eddie Howe’s team from letting a lead slip.
3: Liverpool selfie stick – £10
Minimal effort has been made to push this for Christmas – they could have at least called it an “elfie stick”. Come on!
2: West Bromwich Albion Santa hat with beard – £2.99
We’re not too sure if any elf-respecting Baggies fan would want to be seen wearing this Santa hat with beard.
Luckily, even Adrian Chiles would struggle to be recognised at the Hawthorns sporting this number.
1: Sunderland toothbrushes (twin pack) – £2.49
The twin pack is included the club’s three-for-two offer, so if you really wanted to stock up, you could end up with more toothbrushes than David Moyes has won matches since leaving Everton.
Congratulations to Sunderland on finishing top of the tree. But remember Black Cats, nothing’s won at Christmas. And, if you do go down, at least you’ll have fresh-smelling breath.